A conversation with my father

My dad is your typical unobservant guy.  I recall when I lost weight the first time around, 11 years ago, and I kept it a secret from him.  When I saw him for the first time in months, I had lost 60 lbs and he just said, “You look nice.”  I was DEVASTATED!  In my head I’d imagined his ecstatic reaction for months, and it was such a letdown when it actually happened.

This time around, I also hadn’t let on that I was losing weight.  I will be seeing my dad next month and I found myself again imagining his delight at my progress, and then wondering how heartbroken I’d be if he didn’t notice or say anything.  I’ve sent him pictures from recent vacations, where you would think it would be obvious that I’ve lost weight, but he hasn’t mentioned anything.  So we were chatting on the phone yesterday and I finally just blurted out, “I thought you might like to know that I’ve lost 50 lbs since Christmas.”

He seemed happy and proud, but also expressed immense disappointment that I had let myself get back up to my starting weight, after vowing I never would gain it all back.  Hey – I found it pretty appalling too, but I’m over it now and am choosing to focus on my downward progress.  No point dwelling on the past; I can’t change that now.

At any rate, we had a nice conversation, and now I think it will be easier when I visit in July.  He offered to stock up on anything I wanted from the supermarket if I sent him a list in advance, which will make it easier to stay on track at his house.  He lives in the countryside, so taking long walks for exercise is a cinch!  I know he only wants me to be healthy, so even though I don’t think he will ever fully understand that this food issue will be a lifelong struggle for me, I think he can still be supportive…and that’s more important than surprising him.

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